“What type of comments can make someone happy?”
Dear Questioner, There are many types of comments which will make people happy, the question is rather which kind will lead to lasting happiness?
We can flatter and stroke, we can support the indulgences of others with our comments, we can approve their crappiness, and for many, such shallow comments will make them happy, at least in the short-term. But, if we engage in such behaviour, all we do is help to entrench a flawed happiness system. A system where the individual becomes more and more dependent on outside input for their happiness, and grows further and further away from being able to generate and be in charge of their own happiness, which is of course ultimately the only way and path to real happiness.
If our comments lead to maintaining a flawed system-of-being, even if they produce a temporary happiness, we aren’t truly contributing to overall long-term happiness. But, it’s also not our responsibility to make others happy. It’s certainly not on us to make them miserable either, and it is a good thing to contribute to the happiness of the world. Which leaves us in an interesting place.
The way out of this, is to focus on comments which are rooted in Positive Realism. This enables us to avoid the shallowness and BS of flattery and hollow approval just to be “nice” and so on. At the same time it allows us to connect to longer-term deeper matters. Also, because we have set ourselves to be Real AND Positive, we now get to shape our comments with both. Which leads us to what I call Capital D Diplomacy, which is the Application of Positive Realism. We learn to tell the Truth of matters, even if they may be uncomfortable or not so pleasant, but in Positive, pleasing and acceptable ways.
Using the power of Capital D Diplomacy we get to make comments and say things to others and Share and interact in ways that do not compromise truth, do not corrupt through indulging others, or pandering to their short-term desires for hollow happiness. Through this kind of interpersonal Diplomacy we get to make others happy by being Real and genuine, doing so in a positive and pleasant way. When we make comments of this nature, we also connect to another powerful Understanding when it comes to comments, and it is built into the understanding of the word comment itself.
Comments are a bonus, a free gift or addition. They are not needed or demanded, we can make them or not. When we understand that when we comment we are essentially Sharing our perspectives and thoughts, beliefs and ideas. If we keep this in mind when we comment, and this is fundamental to Capital D Diplomacy, this Understanding of Sharing, we Share instead of tell. We Share instead of trying to specifically do something, Our Sharing thus becomes a Free Gift. If we Share our comments in such a way, the other person can take them as they will, and if the Positivity of our realism is clear, they will easily be able to see our Overall Intent in our comments, the Intent to be Positive AND Real. They will clearly see our aim and goal, which is to add to the happiness of the world, to add, as we believe and see might be a way, to the individual’s long-term happiness, a real happiness, and not a temporary flattering or indulging.
When Applying Capital D Diplomacy and Positive Realism in this way, our comments become more thoughtful, we Share freely, and because we have put more into our comments, we are really Sharing a Gift-of-Energy. A free gift that can be utilised and enjoyed by the person we are Sharing our comment with. And in this way, we contribute to their happiness by giving them that most potent gift of Choice and Awareness, a most most powerful Gift-of-Happiness.
Ask Biella is a Gateway Gazette Feature Column provided by a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer. The purpose and intent of this feature is to provide readers with an opportunity to ask a wide variety of life-based questions. Think "Dear Abby," but with more emphasis on life than just relationships.
Biella is an amalgam of two Beings - Contemporary Philosophers and Writers, who exercises glorious intellectual minds which are most admirable for their profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an issue, and provoking self-introspection. Their aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.
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