Lex Monoxide: Agitating the Hive - Gateway Gazette

Lex Monoxide: Agitating the Hive

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Feature Content
May 18

Lex Monoxide


Feared food writer, notorious restaurant reviewer and cut-throat culinarian Lex Monoxide is your guide to food, booze and ranting reviews!

Not for the faint of heart - with his wit, charm, and colourful humour -

Lex is back! 

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Agitating the Hive

Honeybees are the bustling but delicate curators of entire ecosystems. While extracting the sweetness of a flower without harming it, their touch, dusty with the pollen of a thousand flowers, spreads the seeds of life in a way that sustains the bee while nurturing us all. Their divine purpose and ambitious life’s work transcends the Darwinian struggle of survival, offering we barbarous homo sapiens a rare and reverent glimpse into both the genius and sacredness of nature. All that and their queen has sex with dozens of males every day, just like your mom.

Lex Monoxide: Agitating the Hive

It’s easy to believe that Nature devised the recipe for the perfect food, but it’s rather difficult to reconcile that insects are the chefs. Honeybees are the creators of the only food that contains everything necessary to sustain life. Not only does honey taste like liquid sunshine, but it’s also packed with enzymes, vitamins, minerals, and water; and it's the only food that contains "pinocembrin", an antioxidant associated with improved brain functioning. Not bad, considering their brains are the size of sesame seeds.

They’re in jeopardy because the last five decades hatched events that cut honeybee colonies in half; the introduction of GMO crops, monocultures, and industrial farming (based on poisonous chemicals developed for warfare). Additionally, corporate greed and a lack of consumer awareness have led large producers to feed bees a diet of corn syrup rather than wildflowers. Corn syrup consumption is giving people health issues, so it’s no d’uh that it’s making the bees sick too. By the way, that corn syrup honey is rendered as useless as corn syrup. The nutrients found in nature’s perfect food are simply not there.

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Agitating the Hive... Long story short: 1 out of 3 bites of your food comes from the work of bees, so if the bees go they’re taking us with them. @LexMonoxide #BeeHives #Food #Reviews

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Long story short: 1 out of 3 bites of your food comes from the work of bees, so if the bees go they’re taking us with them. So, buy locally sourced honey from your grocery store or better yet, go right to a honey farm to see and taste it firsthand. And, if you can’t bee bothered to contribute to our collective continued existence, then as Charles Darwin says, “Hey, asshole, you’re the weakest link.”

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Local Foothills Honey Farms

I buy from these three fantastic local producers:

  • High River - www.honeymill.ca Greidanus Honey Mill has a store but call ahead as the hours change with the seasons.
  • Okotoks - www.chinookhoney.com They have a great store and meadery where you can pretty much taste it all.
  • Online – https://foreverbee.ca Local Foothills honey available online and they deliver to your door.

How to Tell Bees From Wasps

Honey Bees

Wasps

  • Hairy
  • Could be black or brown with yellow or orange striations
  • Smooth and shiny
  • Very small waist
  • Black and bright yellow pattern
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Plant These to Help the Bees

Herbs

Vegetables

Mint - Mojitos, couscous, with berries…

Chives - Put them on or in everything…

Rosemary - Great on salmon, in salads…

Radishes - Use it all from root to stem…

Basil – On pastas, chicken, pizzas…

Cucumbers - Thin slices in drinks…


Recommended Viewing

  • Queen of the Sun – really good and comprehensive documentary on why bees are in jeopardy, what people are doing about it, and solutions to do things better going forward.
  • Rotten (Season 1, Episode 1) – Available on Netflix; offers some great insights.
  • Hive Alive – not the most engaging hosts, but some very interesting facts and insights.

  • About Lex Monoxide

    Feared food writer, notorious restaurant reviewer and cut-throat culinarian Lex Monoxide is your guide to food, booze and ranting reviews!


    Find Lex on Facebook & Twitter

    @LexMonoxide

    Lex Monoxide

    Food, Booze, and Ranting Reviews

    Lex Monoxide

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